The Back and Forth
by LifeIChose
Summary: I know, I know, I should have stayed low. BL.
1. Chapter 1

**The Back and Forth**

**Disclaimer: **One Tree Hill, Brooke and Lucas aren't mine. But I can claim Jackson.

**Author's Note**: Takes place roughly after the last episode of One Tree Hill. I hated that episode, especially Peyton and hence this story was born. It's just a one-shot because apparently I am incapable of writing anything else for Brooke and Lucas. Happy Reading!

* * *

He knows he shouldn't be here. He's known this since he pulled in to the parking lot of this bar on the outskirts of Tree Hill. He knows this as he watches her take another long sip of her drink before giggling and leaning over the pool table to take her shot. His eyes follow her body as she tries to get in the right position and he swallows hard as his eyes trail her back side and skim over her exposed legs.

No, he definitely shouldn't be here.

"Another one?" the greasy bartender with the long blond hair and the worn eyes of a man of who's seen everything asks.

Lucas glances towards the girl at the pool table. She is now dancing as she moves around the table seemingly oblivious to the eyes of every guy watching each sway of her hips. His pants suddenly seem tighter than he remembered and he swallows hard again. "Yeah, keep them coming."

It is half an hour later and she has yet to notice him. He is five shots and a couple of beers in. Or was it two shots and five beers in? He can't remember and as he stumbles his way towards her, he thinks that maybe he should have kept a better tally of his drinks.

She whirls around with a glare on her face which quickly breaks into a full fledged grin when she recognizes the boy who just tapped her on the shoulder.

"Lucas! I thought you were another one of those creeps who has been leering at me all night!"

He blushes and hopes that the dim lighting hides the blush and the guilty look that crosses his eyes briefly.

"What are you doing here?" she asks.

He shrugs. "Same thing as you I guess. Trying to get over a bad day."

She stares straight at him and he doesn't like how despite her obvious high level of intoxication she seems to be seriously peering into his soul. It's obvious that she can still read him but he can also still read her. She wants to ask more, he can tell, but after a minute of silence, she smiles. "Well misery loves company. Are you ready to get your ass kicked in pool again?"

He laughs and feels a hundred times lighter than he did a few hours ago. He's not sure if it's her or the alcohol. It's probably both but he doesn't bother analyzing the warm sensation that spreads through his skin as he grabs the pool stick from her hand. "No way pretty girl."

She freezes for just a second and he notices. But then she is smiling again. "No way broody."

And Lucas is thrown back to the feeling of being seventeen and falling in love.

* * *

"I am drunk," she says. He isn't sure how much time has passed. They have gone from playing pool to taking shots to him sitting and watching her dance to where they are now: both on the dance floor, their arms around each other serving to hold the other up.

Lucas finds her statement extremely funny and lets out a long laugh. He's been finding everything she's been saying all night thoroughly entertaining. "Me too pretty girl."

She joins in his laughter, pushing him away playfully. "I could have told you that the moment I saw you."

He staggers back but doesn't release her. "I know. But I like being drunk with you Brooke."

Suddenly she is disentangling from his arms and shaking her head furiously.

"What?" he asks and he tries to reach out to her.

She backs away immediately, her head still shaking. "No way Lucas. I am not getting involved in another love triangle with you and Peyton. Ugh and Lindsay. That's not even a triangle anymore, what would you even call it?"

Despite the situation he can't help the smile that creeps upon his face. "A rectangle."

She doesn't appear to be amused. "Whatever. Anyway like I said in New York Lucas, this isn't high school anymore. You can't just run to me whenever things aren't going right with Peyton."

"That's not what I'm doing," he attempts to defend but she is shaking her head with his every word.

"It is Lucas! You have always known that I will be there, no matter how much you broke my heart, that I would always be there for you if you asked. And that's why you always come to me when you and Peyton aren't doing well. But I am not that girl anymore, the one who is okay with being your second choice."

Lucas is at a loss of words at the rapid transformation of the girl standing in front of him. Gone is the girl he has shared a light hearted, drunken evening and in her place is this angry and broken girl. This version makes him feel seventeen again but the feelings she evokes are not ones of joy. They are feelings of regret at breaking the heart of the girl with the biggest one. It is then that he realizes that Brooke clearly never got over what happened with them in high school and neither did he.

"Why did you break up with me in high school?"

She sighs. "I'm not doing this with you Lucas. Just because you and Peyton can't leave behind the past doesn't mean I have to get dragged down with you. Go home, break up with your girlfriend and tell Peyton that you love her. We all know that's what is going to happen anyway. You might as well save everyone the unnecessary heartbreak."

He watches her go but though he wants to he doesn't follow her. The buzz which had previously been pleasant is now causing him a headache and he thinks, "I shouldn't have come here."

* * *

They haven't talked in a week. It's been a long week for him. Him and Lindsay have gone from being engaged to over for good in the same week and him and Peyton haven't gotten any clearer. He's gone from seeing Haley's eyes shine whenever she sees him to having her not talking to him. She's mad about the kiss that she witnessed between Peyton and himself before he and Lindsay ended. He hates her being mad at him but he can't blame her. Brooke isn't really speaking to him either and he feels like it's high school all over again, after he cheated on Brooke with Peyton.

He knows he shouldn't be here. He's been sitting at the bar for an hour now and he's well on his way to being drunk. This isn't going to make things better but he is hoping that she will show. She does but it is an hour later and it isn't how he had hoped. She is with a guy, that bartender from Tric, and when she walks past him their shoulders brush but she pretends not to notice. He knows he should just leave but instead he stays put, orders a few more drinks and hopes the agony of watching her shamelessly flirt with _that guy_ will pay off in the end.

It does. He's lost all track of time and he is well past drunk. He is slumped over the bar counter pouring his heart out to the disinterested bartender. "And so I asked her to marry me and she said no. I was so mad at her. Can you blame me?"

The bartender doesn't answer like he hasn't answered any of Lucas' drunken rambles and questions. But a hoarse voice beside him says, "Lucas, leave this poor man alone. He doesn't want to hear the Lucas-Peyton saga."

He straightens up, his face lighting up immediately. "Brooke."

She doesn't look so angry now; her face is a mixture of sympathy and pity. "What are you doing here Lucas?"

"Waiting for you," he answers honestly.

"Why?"

He isn't expecting the question so he says the first thing that comes to his mind. "I had to see you. I miss you Brooke."

She rolls her eyes. "I think you are confusing me with Peyton. You know, the love of your life. My best-friend. The girl you are currently refusing to be with for some stupid unknown reason."

He feels confused. "Peyton isn't the love of my life."

She doesn't hear him as she is busy trying to get him to his feet. "Okay drunk boy. Let's get you home. I didn't end my date prematurely so that I could leave you here."

"Peyton isn't the love of my life," he repeats as he lets her drag him up. "I loved her, maybe I love her but she isn't the girl for me." He is now up and looking straight into her eyes. He wants to kiss her and he is about to lean in but her eyes are quickly filling with tears. "Don't do this Lucas. I told you, I'm not that girl anymore. Let me just take you home."

He wants to argue with her, fight her misconceptions about him, and kiss her until she understands but he's drunk and tired and he doesn't want to make her sad anymore so he nods and lets her lead him out of the bar.

* * *

Things between him and Peyton are definitely over now. It's been three weeks after that night that Brooke took him home. The morning after begins with a terrible hangover and it takes a few Tylenol and a couple of hours before Lucas can begin to piece together the pieces from the previous night. He doesn't remember much but there is one thing that he can't get out of his head: the look in Brooke's eyes when he tries to kiss her. She's avoiding him. And he's avoiding Peyton. Him, Brooke, and Peyton, it is a tired triangle and he needs to end it. He's spent the last three weeks trying to figure out how. He's analyzed himself to a level he's not comfortable with. And he's discovered that his heart has been flawed in more than one way. He's been writing too and he knows that this book will be better than his last. He's not some seventeen year old hero in this story; he's a man who's made a lot of mistakes. This version is going to be a lot less popular but Lucas is done lying. To himself and to everyone else.

She hasn't been back to their bar on the outskirts of Tree Hill. He knows this because he has been there every night for the past two weeks hoping that she will show up. She has yet to but that doesn't stop him from going there again. Jackson, the greasy bartender with the old grey eyes, shakes his head when Lucas sits down at the bar.

"I know, I know. You don't think I should be here. But maybe she will show."

Jackson doesn't say anything which isn't a surprise. Since becoming a regular here he has probably heard him say less than ten words. He does, however, slide Lucas a beer and Lucas nods a thank you. He no longer needs to unburden himself to the bartender as his book is serving as an outlet for all his thoughts. He no longer needs to get drunk anymore either. He is feeling a lot more at peace with himself and besides, he wants to be sober when he sees her. So he sits, sips on his beer, and waits.

On this night, he has a feeling that she will show. It is just a feeling but he decides to go with it. It's something that he is working on – trusting his feelings. It's something he was never good at in high school but as Brooke has pointed out so many times, they are not in high school anymore.

It turns out that his instincts were right. He knows she's there before he sees her. As soon as he hears a click of high heels walking towards him, he just knows.

"I shouldn't be here," she says as she sits down.

"Why? It's a public place; we are just friends, having a drink."

She shakes her head. "Oh come on Lucas. You, me and this bar? There is nothing that could be less friend like."

He laughs; she does have a point. "I promise I won't get drunk this time."

She smiles cheekily and signals to the bartender "Good cause I might and make you carry me home. You totally owe me for saving you last time."

She's teasing him to make the mood light and he decides to play along. He'll save the heavy stuff for later.

"You are going to milk that for all its worth aren't you?"

She flashes the dimples that he's missed so much in the last few weeks. "Of course. I wouldn't be Brooke if I didn't." Her drink arrives and she smiles again. "By the way you know you are paying for this."

He laughs. "Anything for you."

* * *

They are having fun. They have played pool and talked and laughed over a couple of drinks. The topics of conversation have been light and they have both avoided mentioning Peyton or their past. Brooke is all laughter, dimples and shine and Lucas is struck by how beautiful she is. If Lucas was still pretending, he could pretend that things haven't changed between them. She looks like the girl that he first fell in love with at seventeen and Lucas is struggling against a wave of nostalgia and regret.

"This is fun. I'm glad I came," she says.

"Me too." He agrees and notes that he means it much more than she realizes.

"I actually didn't think you would be here. I mean I was sort of hoping that you would be but I figured it was a long shot."

He can't help the smile that tugs at the corners of this mouth, lifting it upwards. _She was hoping to see me. _There is something tugging at his chest too and Lucas recognizes it as hope.

She smiles too but it's a bit cautious and once she speaks he understands why.

"I know this is weird because of Peyton. I definitely don't want to get caught up in whatever is going on between you two but I've missed being your friend," she says.

And just like that, the flickering of hope dies out. It always comes back to Peyton and he feels like cursing the girl who seems to have made it impossible for him to ever be with anyone else but her. He feels like shaking Brooke and telling her that it's not Peyton, that it's her. Like he did that night in the rain. He thinks about kissing her and confessing that he wants to be with her like he did the day she left for California. He dismisses both those options almost immediately. They are not in high school anymore. The woman that Brooke has become will never go for that. She trusts him even less than she did back then and she is even more convinced than ever that him and Peyton belong together.

He feels the familiar pain gripping him at Brooke calling him a friend like she did all those years ago at his mother's house. He was in love with her then and he is in love with her now. He's never been good at being her friend and he thinks that his heart might literally shatter if he has to watch her with another guy. She's looking at him expectantly; a soft smile on her face and Lucas knows that he has to say something. "I miss being your friend too Brooke. We should definitely do this more often. You know, be friends."

Her smile grows as she places his words as the ones she'd said to him at the beach after the formal. "You remember?"

It occurs to him that he probably remembers too much, that that is what has impeded his ability to live in the present and not the past but if Brooke's smiles at the few mentions of the past that he's allowed himself to make are any indication, then maybe not all memories are bad. "Of course."

"Want another drink?" she asks.

He would. Maybe five more as he suddenly feels like getting drunk. This night hasn't quite gone as planned. He's enjoyed himself but it has just confirmed what he has been thinking over the last few weeks: he is completely in love with Brooke. He had planned on apologizing for all the times that he's broken her heart and explaining that though he's made a lot of mistakes, that it has always been her. He understands now that confessing his love for her would guarantee her exit out of his life. He would rather have her as a friend than not so he swallows the lump in his throat and the desire to get ridiculously drunk which would definitely lead to him confessing his feelings and stands up instead. "I should probably get going actually. I have to get up early tomorrow."

She nods in understanding. "Okay I'm going to stick around for a bit."

He hates the thought of her staying at this bar by herself. He briefly imagines her getting drunk and getting together with someone and he feels like he might throw up. He quickly puts some bills on the counter, enough to cover both of their drinks, and forces a smile. "Well I'll see you."

She flashes him a dimpled smile. "You can count on that."

His heart constricts. He wants to kiss her. He doesn't want to be her friend. He wants to tell her. He nods and makes a hasty exit before he gives in to his desires.

As soon as she is sure he is gone, she calls over to Jackson and orders a drink and a shot. She wanted to kiss him. She doesn't want to be his friend. She loves him. She's never stopped but she had learned to live without him. It's the bar and the memories. And ever since the first time that she got drunk with him here five weeks ago, her feelings have been reawakened. She would rather have him as a friend than not in her life so tonight she is going to get drunk and sleep with a stranger and try to forget all about Lucas Scott. This night has only cemented what she already knew: Lucas will always be the boy for her even though Peyton will always be the girl for him. She takes her shot and thinks, "I shouldn't have come here."


	2. Hanging By A Moment

**A/N**: I know that I said that this was going to be a one-shot but I decided that I am feeling really upset with the way One Tree Hill is right now so I felt inspired to make up my own version of it. It is just this chapter and then one more coming. I didn't get many reviews at all for the one shot but the three that I did get were so lovely that I felt quite inspired. Once again, Happy Reading!

* * *

_I'm falling even more in love with you_

_Letting go of all I've held on to_

_I'm standing here until you make me move_

_I'm hanging by a moment here with you_

He's trying. To be a friend to her. To not push her and move too fast. To get her to trust him again. So far he's been doing a pretty good job but it is taking a serious toll on his heart. Every time he has to watch her with that bartender whom she is now sort of dating, he feels a surge of jealousy so fierce that he has to look away. Every time she gives him a friendly hug, he feels such a strong desire to kiss her that he needs to summon all his strength not to do exactly that.

It's hard but it's worth it. Every time she throws him a careless smile, every time she lets down her guard just a little bit, every moment with her and Lucas knows that she's worth the torture he's inflicting on himself by being her friend. Sometimes he thinks his life would just be easier if he were to avoid her all together but he has been living a Brooke Davis free life for quite some time and now that she is back in his world, Lucas is sure that he can never go back to a life without her.

He wonders if that's why Peyton continues to stick around. It's been two months since he broke off his engagement with Lindsay and told Peyton that there is no future for them. She had previously made it clear that she came back to Tree Hill for him and he wonders whether that is what has kept her here. She is still struggling to get her label off the ground and she has made it clear to Lucas that she will be ready to get back together with him when he is. And Lucas thinks it's unfortunate that he will never be ready. While Peyton's waiting for him, he's waiting for Brooke. He knows that it would be so much easier if he just loved Peyton like she loved him but he's tried that before and it didn't work. He can't do that again, won't do that again, so he keeps being Brooke's friend and hopes that the ache in his heart will dull with time.

They've been spending a lot of time together in recent weeks because Peyton's birthday is coming up and Brooke is planning a big surprise party for her at Tric and has enlisted Lucas's help.

"Peyton hates surprises," he says when she asks him.

The fire in her eyes extinguishes a little. "I know but she'll get over that once she sees how fabulous the party is. She's been so down lately, I just think that she needs this."

He feels guilty, for his original pessimism towards Brooke and for being the source of Peyton's sadness. Still he agrees more for Brooke than Peyton. He is uncomfortable with the idea of helping plan a party for his ex-girlfriend as he feels that it will just fortify the idea that Brooke and Peyton have that he is still in love with her. But Brooke is looking at him with pleading green eyes and he can't help but say yes.

It's turned out to be really fun though and he's glad that he agreed. Brooke, he has come to realize, is at her best when she is planning something for those she loves. She has thrown herself into making sure the party is something that Peyton will love from the music to the food. She has been bossy and demanding but she does it such a way that Lucas can't be annoyed with her for long. The love that she has for Peyton and the desire that she has to make her friend happy has become obvious to Lucas. He has always known that Brooke is fiercely loyal to all her friends, especially Peyton, but it isn't until the planning of the party, that the depth of that love has really been clear to him. It makes him love Brooke even more but it has also confirmed an idea that had been floating in his mind since the first night at the bar with Brooke. He is now sure that Brooke broke up with him in high school, not because of a lack of love for him like he has always told himself, but because of her love for Peyton. It has made him wonder whether there is a slight chance that she may still love him but he is afraid of getting his hopes up so he dismisses the thought and concentrates on helping her plan for the party.

They put up the "Happy Birthday Peyton" banner two hours before the party, the last touch to the decorations of white and black balloons and white lights illuminating Tric. The decorations are minimalist – very Peyton- but Brooke has still managed to make Tric look less like a bar and more like an intimate party.

"This is great Brooke. You were right to plan this, Peyton's gonna love it."

She grins. "Yeah, we did good. Thanks for all your help Luke. It's going to mean a lot to Peyton."

He wants to tell her that he mostly did it for her but before he can find the right words, Victoria Davis storms in.

"So this is where you have been? Wasting time on a stupid party when you should have been focusing on your company?" she spits out angrily without a greeting or a look at Lucas.

Brooke seems to shrink right in front of Lucas and her voice is timid when she replies, "I told you that I needed to take some time to plan for this party. It's for Peyton."

"Peyton? That ungrateful bitch who's living off your money? Well when you were busy planning Peyton's party, your company is the one suffering. You haven't designed anything new in weeks Brooke. We need to start getting out the spring collection."

"I know. And I will start designing tomorrow." She still seems small but her voice is a bit stronger and her eyes hold a steely determination.

Her mother stares at her and seeming to realize that this is one battle that she will not win, she lowers her gaze. "Fine but I'm warning you Brooke. If you keep this up, you are not going to have a company anymore." With a final glare she turns on her heel and stalks away.

Lucas has seen the wrath of Victoria Davis before but he has never really noticed the effect that it has on Brooke. She looks small and sad and it occurs to Lucas that Victoria Davis is a huge reason as to why Brooke has trouble letting people in.

"Hey," he says gently. "Are you okay?"

She shrugs and doesn't meet his eyes when she says, "That's just who she is, I'm used to it."

She is putting her walls back up and he thinks to himself that one day he will break all of her walls down, even if he has to spend the rest of his life doing it. "That doesn't mean it's okay. You deserve so much better Brooke."

She still doesn't look at him so he moves closer and lifts her head, leaving his fingers under her chin to force her to keep looking at him. "You do Brooke. You are so smart and you have accomplished so much. That company that she uses to harass you, you built it. It's your company. Remember that."

She nods and tries to pull away but he hangs on to her hand. "I'm sorry but I have to say this. You have the biggest heart Brooke and she doesn't deserve you. You deserve so much better." As he says his words, he thinks that maybe she deserves better than him too.

She hugs him tight and whispers, "Thanks Lucas."

He's not sure what she is thanking him for but he hugs her back and hopes that the tightness of her arms around him means that he's cracked a hole in her walls.

* * *

When he next sees her she is in a deep green shimmering dress, smiling and radiant. All traces of that sad, small girl from a couple hours earlier are gone and she looks absolutely stunning. He begins to make his way over to where she is talking with Mouth when Haley says "Shh everyone. Peyton's coming." The lights go off and Lucas is forced to stand still. He can't help but feel the least bit frustrated. With Brooke, there are always too many interruptions, too many missed chances.

After they've all jumped up yelling surprise and Peyton is surrounded by her friends, Lucas makes his way to the group. Peyton is smiling brightly and genuinely for the first time in a long time and her smile grows when she sees him. She is arm in arm with Brooke and as Lucas looks from girl to girl, he notices that unlike Peyton, Brooke's smile fades a little at the sight of him. He doesn't have long to analyze the look because before he knows it, Peyton is hugging him tight and Brooke is walking away.

"Thank you so much for doing this Luke," Peyton says once she releases him.

He smiles and echoes Brooke's words. "You deserve it."

Peyton literally beams and Lucas can see the wheels in her head turning, interrupting his words into something more.

'I can't take credit though. It was all Brooke, I just helped out a little because she asked me to." He knows he's being a bit mean but he is hoping it will get through to Peyton. He watches her to see whether her face will change. It doesn't and Lucas can't help but feel frustrated again as he wonders when she is finally going to believe that it's over. When Brooke steps on the stage and clears her throat in the microphone thus interrupting the words that Peyton is about to say, this time Lucas is grateful for the interruption.

"I just wanted to say Happy Birthday to my bestest friend, Peyton Sawyer and to thank everyone who helped plan this for her. I couldn't have done this without all of you, especially Lucas Scott."

Brooke is looking right at them and Lucas stares at her feeling like she is up to something. The last few months, Lucas has spent studying Brooke. He has studied her expressions whenever things happen, hoping to find out the truth behind her expressions. In many ways she is still a mystery to him but he thinks he can read her now better than he ever could. Before when they were together he would let himself get distracted by her kisses, her hands on him but now that they are just friends, Lucas sees that with Brooke it is all about the nuances; there are subtle differences behind every smile but if one looks closely enough, the truth behind the dimples is clear. As she speaks the dimples are out in full force. "So I know you hate surprises but you better quit feeling sorry for yourself and have fun. You are not allowed to be your old emo self. And besides you have no reason to be, look around you P. Sawyer, you are loved."

Her eyes lock with his for one quick instance and for Lucas it is like she has just splashed a pail of cold water on his face, waking him up. Right then he understands it all; Brooke Davis is in love with him and once again she is giving him up for Peyton.

Peyton's hand is on his. "Would you like to dance?" she asks but he barely hears her.

"Huh?" he asks. "Sorry Peyton there is something I gotta do."

"Right now?" she asks but he's already halfway gone and he doesn't turn back at her voice. He doesn't mean to be cruel but he now knows that if he is ever going to move forward with Brooke, he needs to stop to looking back at Peyton.


	3. No Day But Today

A/N: Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed. This is the final chapter. Thanks for reading!

* * *

_There is only us_

_Only this_

_Forget regret_

_Or life is yours to miss_

Brooke is hard to find in the maze of bodies but he finally spots her slipping outside the back entrance. By the time he gets to her, she is sitting on the stairs, her head in her hands. He approaches her cautiously, unsure of what he is going to say when he reaches her. She hears him coming and when she lifts her head a smile is on her face. Perhaps at one time Lucas would have been fooled by the pretty smile but now he notices how it doesn't reach her teary eyes.

"What are you doing out here? I thought you would be in there with Peyton?" she asks and Lucas thinks it's a pity that this whole drama has made him come to hate the name Peyton. It's not the girl - he has come to realize that she will always have a place in his heart - but the name Peyton is what Brooke always uses to put a wedge between him and her.

He loosens his top button, suddenly feeling like it's choking him. There is so much he needs to say, so much he needs to fix and he has no idea where to start. "I needed some air."

She nods but doesn't say anything and Lucas leans against the wall next to the stairs and also stays silent, having no idea how to begin righting five years of wrongs.

After a few minutes, she says "Lucas?"

He turns to look at her. "Yeah?"

She hesitates. "Never mind. It's stupid."

He moves to stand in front her. "No tell me," he insists.

"Will you dance with me?"

Lucas is entirely thrown off by the request. There is no music and that was the last thing he was expecting her to say. Nevertheless, he nods. "Of course."

Once she is in his arms, he is transported to Haley and Nathan's wedding, right before they broke up. It is the way that she is holding him that takes him back and immediately the strange request makes sense: this is her way of saying goodbye.

A sense of sheer panic hits him and Lucas realizes that this time if he lets her go, Brooke is never coming back to him. "I can't let you go."

He doesn't realize he's said the words aloud until she moves away from him, confusion evident on her face. "What?"

Lucas takes a deep breath. There is no going back, it's now or ever. "I can't let you go," he repeats.

"Oh! Peyton told you that I was going back to New York." She sighs. "I don't want to leave my friends either but I have to, my company needs me there."

"It wasn't Peyton," he corrects her.

Her brow lifts in confusion. "Then how did you-"

He doesn't bother answering her question. "You are doing it again Brooke. You are running away from me again because you think that is what is best for me and Peyton but once again you are so wrong pretty girl."

She backs away from him, a look of horror on her face, and Lucas realizes that he's hit the nail right on the mark; the look of horror can only be because he's read her so well.

Lucas watches her closely as she opens her mouth then closes it. When she opens it again, he can tell that her defenses are fully up and the angry words that come out of her mouth confirm it. "Oh right I can't be going back to New York because my company needs me. It has to be because of you and Peyton. Right, because it is always about the two of you. This isn't high school anymore, there is more to my life than just you and Peyton drama."

Lucas takes a moment before he speaks. He knows no matter what he says, she is going to lash out at him. Now he finally understands that it is her way of pushing him away and he resolves not to let her anger get to him. "You keep saying to me that it's not high school anymore but I think out of you, me and Peyton, I'm the only one not stuck in the past."

She scoffs. "Oh really? And how is that?"

"I know who I'm in love with and that's you Brooke Davis. Not Peyton, not Lindsay, you. I've told Peyton that I don't love her and I've told you that I don't love her but you both choose not to believe me, instead choosing to hold on to this version of a Peyton/Lucas forever love that never really was."

Lucas feels slightly triumphant when she doesn't say anything. His words have had the desired effect, they've gotten her to stop and listen to him.

"Why now Lucas? Why me?" she asks softly.

"It's always been you Brooke," he says and tries to step closer.

She puts up her hand and he stops. Biting down on her lip, she shakes her head. "You say that you are over Peyton and all that high school drama but don't you see, it's the same old cycle. Something happens between you and Peyton causing you guys to break up, you come to me but in the end it's always back to her. Don't you see Lucas? I'm just a convenient rebound."

He takes a minute to think about what she has said because since she has listened to him, he thinks her words deserve the same consideration.

"I know that I hurt you by cheating on you with Peyton the first time but what that experience taught me was how much you meant to me. When we got back together that second time, I was in love with you. I promised you that I had no lingering feelings for Peyton and I meant it. When I started dating Peyton after our break up, it wasn't because I'd been in love with her the whole time I'd been dating you, quite the opposite actually. I started dating her because I was so lost and confused after Keith's death and you breaking up with me that I let myself believe that maybe you were right, that maybe Peyton was who I was meant to be with."

"You are meant to be with her," Brooke interrupted.

"Please let me finish. I've been waiting for two months to say this to you."

She looks unsure but she nods reluctantly.

"It was easy to convince myself of this great love that Peyton and I had because everyone else was talking about it. And it was easy to be with Peyton, we had the same interests, the same tastes and she loved me and showed me all the time. I needed that then."

"Are you saying that I drove you into Peyton's arms?" Brooke asks disbelievingly.

"Honestly you did a little."

"You are full of nerve Lucas."

"Look I'm not blaming you. I think we were both to blame for our break up back then. But you shouldn't have done it Brooke. I know that you did it because you knew Peyton was in love with me but I was in love with you Brooke and I needed y_ou_." He pauses and forces himself to face up to what he has always been unwilling to admit. "But I shouldn't have let you go."

Brooke shrugs. "Oh well, you did and I've moved on."

The seventeen year old Lucas Scott would have backed down, cut his losses and settled for second best. But experience and time have changed him and this time he is not backing down. "Have you?" he challenges her. "Because it seems to me that it's just like Haley and Nathan's wedding. You are about to leave and take my heart with you. It's just like high school except for one thing, this time I am not letting you go."

She is still and silent and no matter how much Lucas looks at her he can't read her. He keeps his eyes on her though, just in case she breaks. A minute later she does. "Why now?" she repeats her earlier question and there is a vulnerability in her voice that gives him hope.

"Because I can't let history repeat itself. I know that I am in love with you, I have known it for a while now but I didn't tell you because I didn't want to scare you away. But I'm tired of regretting life and the mistakes I've made and I can't spend the rest of my life this way. If I let you go that would be what my life would be: a life full of regret."

He's quiet and tense as he waits for her to speak. He's laid his heart out and what she says will determine everything. While Lucas would spend his life waiting for her, he believes that if she doesn't take him now then she never will.

"What about Peyton?"

Lucas feels his heart deflating but he hangs on to a last thread of hope that this is the last test. "I'm in love with you."

Her eyes are filled with tears and her lip is quivering. Lucas isn't sure the meaning behind them but he guesses they are not a good sign.

"And if I say I can't do this. If I walk away and move to New York tomorrow, what will you do?"

This is definitely a test question but Lucas answers confidently because he's thought about the option and is sure of his response. "I'll continue being your friend if you let me. And I'll wait for you to trust me again. I know I've made a lot of mistakes and maybe I don't deserve you. So maybe I'm not the guy for you but you will always be the girl for me."

Within seconds, she is in his arms. He is in shock as he hugs her tightly back. Of all the times he's hoped for another chance, he's never thought that she would really give it to him. He doesn't ask her to explain and instead just relishes her being in his arms.

She clings to him, feeling like she can't get close enough. She knows she has just taken the biggest leap of her life; because if she falls this time, she will never be able to get back up. But she isn't so afraid of falling right now. Lucas's arms are secured tight around her and she has never been so sure that should anything happen, he'll be there to catch her.

She's not sure what it is that will make things different this time; they've done this before, some would say too many times. But there was the way he was looking at her, the way he refused to let her push him away and he just seemed so sure. And she has been dreaming of this since they last broke up. She's wondered so many times if things would have been different if she had fought for him back in high school. Listening to him speak has her made her realize that she can't keep looking back wondering 'what if' or what could be or have been. There is so much they still need to figure out; like her company and Peyton. But he's holding her tight and she knows that they are right.

This is it. No more back and forth.

"You are the guy for me Lucas Scott," she whispers still buried in his chest. Then she looks up at him and says what she has known all along. "I am in love with you."

She watches as he blinks and tears fill his eyes. "You can't take this back Brooke. You can't push me away anymore. From now on, it is you and me."

A smile breaks over face. Dimples and all. He seems so vulnerable as if she could take it back at any minute but yet when he speaks, he sounds so sure. Her and Him. She likes that. "It's you and me," she repeats his words.

It's all the confirmation he needs and his lips are immediately on hers.

He loves her. She loves him. They both know that there is always a chance that years down the road they might crash and burn. But they are together now. No misunderstandings, no missed opportunities. Just him and her. And besides, should they crash, it will be an exquisite way to burn.

**The End**


End file.
